Santa & His Reinbeer

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It is always so incredibly hard for me to shop for the men in my life. I hate shopping for men in general, actually.

This is what I ask: “What do you want for Christmas?”

This is what they say: “Uhh, I need golf balls, maybe some new shirts. I don’t care.”

This is what I hear : “Golf Balls” = could be any, all, or none of the following of this selection at the sporting goods store: Titleist Pro V1 (‘nope’), Titleist Pro V1X (‘what the heck is the difference from the first one?’), Top Flite XL ( ‘this sounds good- maybe?’), Taylor Made Rocketballs (‘rocketballs?’), Bridgestone TreoSoft (‘soft is probably bad, right?’), Callaway Warbird ( ‘ummmmm nahh’). ‘AH you’re just going to lose it in the water anyway!’

“Shirts” = ‘okay, well since I’ve reverted to golf shirts rather than golf balls every year due to extreme indecision, I can’t do that again. So workout shirts? V-neck? Long-sleeve? Shirts to wear to the office? What size? I have to know your NECK circumference to know your dress shirt size?!  Why are you so weird?’

In the meantime: OH LOOK!- 75% off sale in women’s shoes. ‘Ehh I’ll just get something online.’ And there I go. Men’s shopping is deferred for another day.

Again, I hate shopping for men.

Sure- they could put up a good argument in regard to shopping for a woman, but for the most part I make it pretty well known of exactly what I want. Women- yes? Do you agree? Shopping for a woman [like me] is exciting! It’s not boring golf balls and button downs. It’s sparkly and fun! It’s stuff for my kitchen. It’s that de Buyer adjustable Mandoline at Williams Sonoma that I’ve been ever so casually bringing up in conversation…for months.

See what I mean? Easy.

Maybe the lovely people in your life are more simple to shop for around the holidays- lucky you! Maybe you need a great stocking stuffer. Maybe you want to spruce up your usual bottle of wine that you’ve been giving out at parties for years. Whatever the case, you can never fail by giving someone their favorite beverage dressed up for the season.

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To make Santa: gather the following things from your dollar store (or office place….) :  wiggle eyes, glue, cotton balls, paper clips, a clean red dish towel, and a coffee filter.  You will also need your/ their favorite wine.

  • Cut a cone shape out a red dish towel and glue it together at the seam. Glue cotton balls on the top and around the rim of the hat.
  • Cut a 1/2 circle shape out of a coffee filter and glue the cotton balls to the filter to make the beard. Draw on the lips. Tape the filter to the bottle so you can remove it easily.
  • Glue on the eyeballs.
  • Get really into it at this point/ realize how many other things you should be doing at work while making Santa’s eyeglasses out of paperclips.
  • Cut out a gold buckle and stick it on his belt. ( I purposely bought a bottle that had the cute little red stripe across the bottom)

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To make his Reinbeer: gather the following items: brown pipe cleaners, wiggle eyes, small red pom-poms, and bottles (preferrably brown bottles) of beer.

  • Cut a pipe cleaner into four 2.5/3 inch pieces for each “antler”. Wrap two of the small pieces around each end of another intact pipe cleaner and shape as shown above. Wrap the middle around the top of the bottle and secure tightly under the lid.
  • Glue on the eyeballs and noses.
  • Be the hit at your next holiday party… it not just beer, it’s Reinbeer! 

Buon Natale & Happy Crafting! ( I don’t know how to say that in Italian)

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